About Me

My photo
the world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start.

Monday, March 30, 2009

back to the future

first official blog. stream of conscience cliff notes. who knows?

Cursive: Momma, I'm Swollen - if you were wondering how cursive would ever find it's way back in to your heart, to fill the hole that "Domestica" left, it's here. it's here and it's fucking huge. how does cursive manage to push themselves so far forward and yet always stay exactly how i remember them from the first record?

beyonce covered alanis morisette this week. i knew that bitch would eventually push too many of my buttons and ruin the beautiful relationship we had. it wasn't enough that she was getting away with jay-z AND those hips, but she had to go all gwen stefani on me. i'm pretty sure if i created an alter ego for myself my mom would send me to counseling.

it has been six weeks since i have been able to put my foot inside a shoe. i can't wait to run. i want to run into the foggy oblivion that is leicester, ma. sitting on my ass has allowed my brain far too much time to wander. my wandering mind creates anxiety for me and i REFUSE to let my anxiety come back and take over my life. i can feel it. a little piece of panic clings to every one of my bloods cell and drifts aimlessly through my body like it was the lazy river at splashdown.

i am going to buffalo for the weekend. jake is having a winter's over festival. three days of eating and laying around his house. seeing him this weekend is going to be so good for me. i have been completely shut off from the world and am starting to forget my friends' names.

i don't know if i am going to stick with this blog thing. maybe it will be good to put some of my thoughts outside of my brain. i don't need to sort through them or provide any reasoning for my thoughts. i can just put it here. right here.

hopefully, then, i can keep those thoughts from settling in my brain. there is no vacancy up there. i got lots of shit going on and have no room for the immeasurable "what-if's". it's exhausting.

clap on. clap off.

No comments:

Post a Comment